


All These Stars Above (And You and Me Still Can't Make A Wish)

by RighteousRiot



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, One of Those NIGHT BEFORE fics, Sad Lost Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 00:07:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14532363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RighteousRiot/pseuds/RighteousRiot
Summary: Set in some gray-area night before the battle of Wakanda, Steve and Bucky try to hold on to their last moments together.





	All These Stars Above (And You and Me Still Can't Make A Wish)

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't mean for this to be QUITE as sad as it turned out but well...I'm like everyone else and IW has crushed my heart. Also I believe that Bucky Barnes is the strongest light in the whole wide world but...that doesn't mean that he always sees it in himself. Semi-self deprecating Buck feelings exist in this fic.

In his darker moments, Bucky thought that their whole lives have been a series of nights just like this. 

Unnaturally long lives, bodies made stronger by science and blessed with healing beyond reason and still...still they always seemed to be on the losing end. One of them destined to slip through the other's fingers until that lose eventually stuck. Miracles were limited, after all and Bucky figured he had already had his due. Hell, Steve should have died a hundred times over, growing up. Should have never found him in that Hydra camp. Should have never fought so desperately to save the monster he had become. And this, this threat looming over them, it was bigger than all of those things. He didn't think there would be any miracle this time. No seeing Steve on the other side, dirty but still in one piece. 

No, this was just the next Last Night in their lives. And this one...well, this one was probably gonna stick. 

The bed dipped beside Bucky and he opened his eyes to see Steve sitting carefully next to him. It had been awhile since he had visited and the beard was still a shock. "Gotta get my head right." he had told Steve for what felt like the thousandth time. "Gotta get back to being who you remember." Now those words tasted like ash in his mouth. Wasted time. All those nights spent alone and lost and now there was just the one left. The weight of that felt like a fist around his throat, making each breath harder than the last. 

Steve pressed a kiss to Bucky's bare shoulder before tucking his face into the hallow of his neck, humming softly. The two of them, naked from the waist up and sitting side by side like a matched set. Long fingers scritched through his hair, resting at the base of his head in a gentle caress. He could feel it already, the way Steve's breath was starting to hitch in his chest, the way his feelings were welling up inside of him and Bucky was drowning in a rush of panic. He couldn't do this again, couldn't handle the desperation and disrepair. All the world was at risk, nowhere left to ever be safe again and all Bucky wanted was to sweep Steve up like he still weighed 100lbs wet. Like he could be the hero of the story again. Throw Steve over his shoulder and take off, promise them a better tomorrow. His thighs burned with the desire to jump up off the bed, muscles standing out in stark relief. No more Last Nights, his mind screamed. No more Goodbyes.

That, of course, was when Steve bit him. It wasn't hard but the abruptness startled Bucky so bad he nearly tipped off the bed. "Thinkin' too hard, Buck." Steve said, as if he hadn't even noticed Bucky's almost heart attack. "I've been kissing on you for almost ten minutes and you ain't even moved." He pulled his face back, looking at Bucky full on now and gave a little grin. "Don't you remember how these nights are supposed to go?" 

And he was right. But then, Steve was always right. They had an agreement, the two of them. Made way back then, in the cold and the dirt, with less than a handful of pennies between them and no hope of seeing the next month alive and well. The didn't dwell and beg and plead. They didn't mourn what was never meant to be theirs in the first place. They didn't _wish_. Tonight...tonight was just another night like any other. Last Nights didn't exist, not between them. There was just this moment and the next for however long they could make it last. _"What if we don't make it?"_ Steve had asked back then, looking at Bucky with all the world offered up in his eyes. In those days, Bucky had been the protector. The strong one. _"Doesn't matter, Stevie."_ he had said. _I love you now and I'll love you tomorrow. Don't have any need to hope for more than that."_

Bucky looked at Steve, still wearing that careful grin and smiled back. He reached up to touch the curve of his jaw, grip Steve's chin between two fingers. All the blood and violence that had come from the use of his metal arm and now it brought a new red into being, causing a blush to form anywhere the cool fingers touched. Newly forged, remade into something better and even more foreign and still his fingers knew their way around Steve. Like a thing ingrained in him no matter how much time passed between them. No matter if the hand was his own or one built to make him whole again. 

"I remember, Stevie." Bucky said at last. "Love you today and I'll love you tomorrow." He tipped Steve's chin up, giving into the need to kiss him. Just a firm press to his lips, feeling the scruff of Steve's beard scratch against his face. "Love you all the other days, as well." That was it, that was all it took to spur Steve back into action. He gave one last squeeze to the back of Bucky's neck and slid to his knees beside the bed. Pushing between Bucky's thighs, Steve slid his hands up to the waistband of his sweats. "Up." he whispered, a touch of desperation making the words quick. "Bucky, up. Lift up." And so Bucky did, leaning back on his elbows so that he could tilt his hips and allow Steve to pull his pants down. 

This wasn't new, but it always felt that way. Like a treat that he had never hoped to have suddenly being offered on his dying day. Bucky felt overwhelmed, breathless. Drowning again, this time in how badly he wanted Steve. Needed him. 

Things moved quickly after that. Steve touched Bucky with a confidence that had always staggered him, caused his muscles to leap up like he was hooked to a live wire. The wet pull of his mouth and feather light touch of careful fingers had Bucky moaning in agony, falling back to writhe on the mattress, spine curving and straightening under the waves of sensation. He fisted one hand in Steve's hair, bunching up the longer strands into a handful, while he felt at Steve's face with the other. Ran his palm over Steve's cheek, felt the moments of his jaw as he worked and touched delicate fluttering eyelids. He ran a thumb across one furrowed eyebrow and moaned again, letting the sound echo around them. "Stevie..." he gasped, letting the word trail off in a whine. There was a time when they tried to be quiet, had to be and Bucky wondered how they made ever it through. How they ever had this without their voices mingling loudly in shared intensity. 

"Steve" Bucky said again, this time more urgent. Both hands were in Steve's hair now, trying to push and pull him at the same time. In was only a few seconds longer but it felt like years, lifetimes before Steve pulled off with a gasped breath and looking a little wild around the eyes. "Move up the bed." he said immediately, rising from his knees to finally _finally_ shed his own pair of worn sweats. Bucky had just enough time to scoot back until he was lying across the width of the bed and then Steve was on him again, crawling across his body in five seconds flat. 

The kiss this time rough, a force in its own right. Bucky licked into Steve's mouth and hummed at his own taste there, nipped at his bottom lip until Steve hissed and pulled back. "Need you, Stevie." he said, letting the honesty of that show all over his face. "Can I have you, please? You make me want you so bad, all these years. All this time and it's still the same. Please, baby, I just need you so bad." Bucky was babbling and he couldn't stop it, never had been able to and all it took was Steve's quick nod, his "Yeah, Buck, yeah. Right now." to have Bucky reaching for the side table and the lube that was stashed there. 

He didn't get very far before Steve had both his wrists caught in a firm grip, pressing them into the mattress as he leaned forward on his knees. "Don't need it." he said, breathless now himself. "Don't need it. Already...in the shower." And then he had one hand back behind him and was positing Bucky's cock before sinking down in one fluid move. Bucky had to grit his teeth, pull his feet up and brace against the mattress as his body tensed and bucked beneath Steve. There was a moment where they both paused, Steve fully seated now and Bucky taking full gasping breaths through his open mouth. Their eyes locked, as they always seemed to do and the two of them together felt as if they stood on the edge of a precipice. Then Steve moved his hips, one smooth roll and they were spinning over the edge.

Bucky ran his hands over any spot he could reach, up and down Steve's strong thighs, his back and pressed hard against his chest. He whispered sweet adorations at Steve, coaxed him to learn closer and then grabbed his neck and reached for another kiss. Steve's pace was pounding, riding Bucky hard until his body was coated in sweat, blush reaching down toward his navel. His cock stood hard and red against his stomach and when Bucky ran his fingers along the length, Steve howled at the sensation. "You first, Steve." Bucky, encouraged. "C'mon and show me. Show me now, Stevie." And Steve, who had been following Bucky his whole life, who had started this night with bravado and smiles, who had his own overwhelming desperation...he couldn't help but do just as Bucky said. That big body tensed and then Steve was gasping wetly in Bucky's neck as wave after wave of tremors shook through him. 

Bucky could have died happy then, could have ended it right there and been content to go with the feeling of Steve laying limp against him and kissing at his collar bone. And Steve did stay, at least for a second, before he was sitting up again, bracing his hands on Bucky's chest and encouraging him on. "C'mon Buck." he said, rocking his hips again. "C'mon. Can't stop till I feel you too. Wish I could just have it like this always, wish I could just be with you and feel you. Come, Buck. I need it...just need it." His voice was horse and used, dropping into that lower register that Bucky loved so much. He loved _Steve_ so much, would do anything he wanted and his body bent to Steve's will, coming with an intensity that left Bucky dizzy and half blind. 

For a minute all they had was the harsh breaths between them, fingers still slipping slowly through cooling sweat and come and then Steve was pulling off, flopping down beside Bucky on the rumpled bed sheets. Above them, the ceiling was a clear and perfect skylight, showing off the dark sky and millions of dotted stars. They stared together, both caught just then in their own private thoughts. Their own assurances to themselves...this wouldn't be the end. This was no Last Night. 

Bucky felt Steve take his hand, sigh as if he was resigned to fate. "Tomorrow?" he asked. And now Bucky could see it, the shine in Steve's eye. The way they were wide and unsure. The worry he had tried so hard to cover up. 

"Tomorrow." Bucky echoed, this time like a promise. He clenched his fingers tight against Steve's and fought to believe. 

_This was no Last Night and I'll love still you tomorrow._

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to find me on tumblr, I’m always looking for new friends!
> 
> http://righteousriot.tumblr.com/


End file.
